The Girl The ESRB Warned You About.

It’s Dolls and So Forth week at GRC, folks, because the DC February solicits are out and I spent half an hour this morning going “YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO!” at the action figures and busts.

As I’ve mentioned before, I like running around World of Warcraft and hitting bears with an axe, although lately I’ve been ignoring the whole axe thing and just punching the bears in the face. It is a rush! No wonder the Punisher likes it so much. (WARNING: silhouetted ultra-violence).

To my general delight, Wildstorm is releasing a World of Warcraft comic. At first glance it is all terribly exciting: story and script by Walter Simonson; art by Ludo Lullabi and Sandra Hope; covers by Jim Lee. That’s a definite “YAY!”, right?

Oh, so close! It would have been, but unfortunately, there are two things that make me go “BOO!”

One: There are five Horde (bad guy, more or less) races. Four of them are ugly or downright repulsive by conventional Western beauty standards. One of them is very, very pretty. Guess which race is represented by the sole female character named in the solicits?

Two: The main characters have DC Direct action figures. This is hers:

valeerahasnopants.jpg

Oh look! She isn’t wearing pants!

Valeera Sanguinar is apparently a rogue, a class of sneaky bastards who stab bears in the back. Their talents lie in being invisible until they shiv the bear, but after that point the bear is usually displeased. Rogues aren’t hardcore healthwise, so they really need the additional armour bonuses that come from wearing as many pieces of clothing as possible to protect them from their target’s ursine fury. Like, say, pants.

The lack of wisdom inherent in a pantless policy is borne out by the statue itself, which lovingly displays what appears to be a scar on her bare ass:

valeerascar.jpg

Of course, the practicality of pants-as-protection is totally outweighed by the aesthetic imperative for Valeera to be sexy, sexy danger. I am delighted by the raised weapon and the determined expression; I am driven into despair by the low bodice and thong; and I am wearily furious about, once again, the disproportionate sexual objectification of female vs. male characters*.

See what I mean? YAY. BOO.

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*Naturally, the action figures of the male characters are all wearing pants. One of them has no shirt, though, so if you’re into barechested troll dudes, there you go!

2 Responses to “The Girl The ESRB Warned You About.”

  1. [...] WoW, action figures, and comics?!?!  Be still my geek heart! [...]

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